She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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