It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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