The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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