people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
