I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
