I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize