i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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