I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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