At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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