i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
