I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
