idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
