I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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