no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
