i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
