best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
