I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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