Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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