it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
