SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I need to align my fucking chakras
do nipples grow back?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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