my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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