you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
