They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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