I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
