yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
