she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
