I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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