If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
