the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
