plz talk dirty to me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
