Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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