why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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