Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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