Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
