no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We have so much sex to catch up on
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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