I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
