should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
