Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
