That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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