You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
