all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize