Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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