I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize