I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
