He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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