I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
