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I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
