I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I will die if light touches me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just want nice things and good sex
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
