Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize