Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
