HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize