i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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