i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize