just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
