you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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