My room smells like vodka and shame
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
