You smell like stripper and shame
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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