I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
