i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
