its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
