Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
