he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
