my vag is so smooth its legendary
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize