I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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